18 June 09

soooooo sleepy... wana doze off liao...
soooooo tired... wana die off liao...
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

countdown continues... 3 more days to go...
time passes soooooo slowly...

Daily Thots

can someone juz do sm charity work here??
pls take tt person away & kip him far far away can??
i'm so irritated wif him!!
y can't he juz kip his mouth shut if he dunno wad he's talkin abt??!!
feel lik kickin his in his arse..
*dammit*

but then again.. i've gotta forgive him.. forgive his stupidity..
oppss.. i meant.. forgive him as he's still a kid..
*yucks*

Oh God.. forgive me.. take away my anger..
may the Prince of Peace be wif me always..
Amen!

countdown to my SH trip.. 4 more days to go..
Yipee!!
Shalom~

IT savvy

OMG!!!
i need a IT savvy person to help me!!!
somebody save me!!!

Daily Thots

life's a game.. either you win or you lose..
but i gotta take life easy & take each step at a time..

anyway.. God has really blessed me..
i'm going for my well-deserved holiday trip in another 5days time..
countdown party begins now..

Daily Thots

have been really busy with work recently.. doing projects.. back to projects.. enjoyed projects.. thou really fustrated with projects.. hahaha.. life revolves around projects at the moment..

All glory to God..

Sad & Disappointed

Why did such things happened tonight? All the unexpected. This is what I want to say to the few:

Mummy

You were the nicest "Mummy" I've been calling for almost 32 years. Tonight you raised your voice and shouted at me for the 1st time, all because of a man who's been living with you for years. I'm so hurt by your words and actions. The moment you shouted at me, my heart ached so much. All the respect I have for you is lost after tonight. You didn't stand up for me it's ok. But you didn't even stand up for your own daughter when that asshole shouted at her. For this reason, you really don't deserve my respect.

R**ger Y*p

You are someone who don't deserve any respect from anyone at all because you never respect others as well! Tonight you shouted at all of us and keep pointing your fingers at us. You are so damn bloody rude! Did your parents teach you that? I feel so sad for your parents. They'll be so damn disappointed and shameful if they see you behaving like that. You only have the guts to shout at us but not Ah Gu. Why? You scared he slap your f**king face?! Dammit! And you even shouted at me asking to to shut up! You said tonight is a family event and I am not part of the family. If I am not, then who do you think you are?! Who the f**k you think you are?! I used to respect you always greeting you when I see you. But after tonight, you're just a piece of shit! Oh no. I meant, you're nothing in my eyes. You don't even deserved to be in my sight! And you don't even deserved to be named in my blog cause you suck! Yucks! I really hope you'll read my blog and see how lousy you are. Pui!!!

Bobby & Stephanie

What happened to the little kids I once knew? Why have you changed so much? Whatever you've done and said, you really hurt your mum's heart. Each time I hear her talk about you kids, she cried so hard and my heart ached so much. How could the both of you bear to hurt her? You think having you in the stomach and giving birth to you is easy? You've never gone thru labour pain you won't know. The hardship she went thru to raised you kids, aren't you supposed to be grateful and just be sensible? She didn't expect you to be an intelligent kid but she also don't expect you to be rebellious. Can you just wake up from your dreamland and play your rightful role in the family? Is it so difficult to ask from you? You caused kinship to sour, is that what you want? You'll be parents in future. How would you feel if your kids treat you this manner? Don't tell me that you won't teach your kids this way like how your mum teach you because, you can't even teach yourself well now. But a word of truth, your current dad really loves both of you. His manner may not be accepted by you now but when you grow up, you'll know what he has done for you is for the good of you.

I'm so utterly disappointed. But who am I to judge? I hope the kids will realised their mistakes and return back to their mum.

Pray that Abba will watch over this family. Give them the peace and show them the way to stay united as a family. May the Prince of Peace be with all of us. Amen.

Daily Thots

I'm confused.. So confused with myself.. What are my wants?? What are my needs??

Life is really full of choices/decisions/consequences..

I'm sinking.. Standing on quick sand.. Dying soon..
Let's not hope for the worst.. Hope that everything will turn out fine..

Continue to pray.. Seek comfort in His arms.. Seek for the peace I needed most..
Leave it all to God as He has it all planned for me..

Can I do what I just said?? Wait and see..

Irritated!!

why the fart smell cannot go away??!! yucks!! i tink d designer behind me farted.. nw the air is filled wif tt smell & i cant get outta ofc!! shitz!! dammit!!

IRRITATED!!

Declare Fresh Air!!

Wrongs

i noe i've done wrong.. wadever i've chosen.. is a wrong.. but i cant turn bck nw.. i really cant.. i dun hab a choice.. dun force me..

Life

ppl always tell me.. God is fair.. how fair?? hw do we gauge??

my life?? i cant be bothered abt it @ d moment.. since iz alrdy so messy..

frenz who take ppl lik me for granted.. many in tis world.. countless.. but y does it hab to happen so many times a yr?? a test to my endurance level?? a test against my patience??

a gf of mine.. had an unhappy incident.. dun wana share here thou.. but i dun tink iz fair for her lor.. i wonder wad greater plans Daddy has for her?? thou she's nt Daddy's child.. yet..

some other ppl.. embraced wif Daddy's luv.. misuses it.. misinterprets it.. spoils it..

Get A Life

dammit!! dun u f**kin hell irritate me!! i'm alrdy v tolerant towards u!! dun u push ur f**kin luck!! aHHHHHhhhhhHHHhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

y do i hab to tolerate all ur nonsense?? f**k off man.. u always made my blood boil when i tok to u!! thou i dun tell it in ur face.. get tis f**kin rite.. u f**k off my life beta!!

aaahhhhhhHHHHhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! bcos of u.. i had to re-edit my blog & chng d contents.. i'm so f**kin pissed off wif u nw.. ahhhhHHHHHhhhh!!!!!

*names hab been left out for protection purpose*

extracted fm www.rbc.org:
He who has knowledge spares his words. Someone who displays wisdom will think before speaking, and then will share only insights likely to be helpful. A man of understanding is of a calm spirit. A mature person exhibits understanding by keeping cool in conflict. The next time you become angry, stop and prayerfully reflect for a moment. Ask God for a calm spirit and the right words to say. Remember, cooler heads prevail.

Dear Daddy.. pls take away d anger in me.. take away all d bad thots runnin in my mind.. pls cast d devil outta me nw.. pls gimme a calm spirit.. pls forgive me Daddy.. in Jesus' name.. Amen~

Happy??

i'm really unhappy..
unhappy wif my life..
unhappy wif my work..
unhappy wif almost everything now..

i wana be happy..
declare happiness!!
declare favour!!
declare abundance joy!!

reGreTs

i always tell myself.. never live my life wif regrets..
nw i'm startin to regret in almost everything i do..

am i happy?? at times..
am i sad?? quite frequently..

someone once told me.. i used to smile fm my heart..
nw my smile is only on d surface..
quite true.. i totally agree on tis comment..

i dun u'stan where has all d happiness gone to??
m i nt supposed to hab it??
m i nt worth of havin it??

i'm tired once again..
mentally.. physically.. spiritually..

Someday.. Sometime..

what hab i done??
what needs to be done??

emotions overrule my mind & heart..
i cant do wad needs to be done..

its a ripple effect..
decisions i make nw causes other effects on others..
all d consequences i've to face nw..

its ok..
someday.. sometime..
all will be done..

forgive me..

Misinterpreted / Misunderstood/ Taken For Granted

issit beta to b misinterpreted/misunderstood by others by wad you've just said?? or issit beta to b taken for granted for the things that you've done??

it seems lik i'm always at d wrong place.. at d wrong time.. is tis a joke??

its nvr a coincidence why we're at sm places.. its always for a purpose.. like why sm of us are here & why sm had to go elsewhere..

tryin to multi-task here.. but in d end.. kena multiplied (burden)..

am tryin to keep d faith strong.. keep it thr.. its hard thou.. but i must learn to believe..

Daily Thots

smtin's just nt rite wif tis r/s.. i just cant make out wads wrong..

assumptions:

- he's nt so much of a "I Love Daddy" person??

- we dun share a common interest/topic??

- he really loves me a lot.. but for d rite reasons??

but we do nt judge others by:

- their academic qualifications..

- their income status..

- their daily habits in life..

- their characters..

bcos our Daddy do not judge us too.. no matter wad.. eventually when we all become COG.. we're all blessed & connected in Jesus' name..

wad can i say?? wad can i do??

Dear Daddy.. pls lead d way.. pls hold my hand tightly.. pls guide me thru tis difficult period.. let me make no more mistakes.. no more.. & pray that Daddy you'll rmber my sins no more.. in Jesus' name.. Amen~

Daily Thots

suddenly felt like bloggin aft being away for such a long time..

shifted to a new place in JW abt 3wks ago.. rented a rm which costs me $480/mth (c/w mattress/aircon/cupboard).. stayin wif a young couple (wife same age as me, hubby older than me 2-3yrs) & they hab 2 kids.. Donovan is 6yrs old & Krystel is 3yrs old.. d kids are cute & r quite well-mannered.. they'll greet me "JieJie" when they see me.. esp Krystel.. nice havin them ard.. heex..

at times they're quite noisy in d living rm & their parents always worry tt i might b disturbed by their noises.. in fact.. i enjoyed their noises.. feels hme.. i simply missed my gals.. at times i hear them play outside wif their parents.. i'll start to tink.. y cant i hab such a life?? i used to hab it.. where has it gone to?? tinkin & tinkin makes me cry.. haiz.. crybaby attack..

anyway.. still nt v used to stayin outside on my own.. at times i wake up in d middle of d nite (nitemares again) & when i realised there isn't a close kin wif me in d hse.. i start cryin again.. i felt so lonely.. so alone in tis world..

d trip hme fm wrk is nt as bad as my 1st nite bck.. suddenly in d train all unfamilar faces.. none i've seen b4.. i sms-ed Jie.. & i cried in d train.. stupid ppl keep starin at me machiam i'm some alien.. hahaha..

haiz.. here i am.. eating cup noodles & studyin for my exams.. kinda missed some gd old oiliness in my life.. hahaha..

thou i'm nt v happy at times.. still pondering if i've made a wrong move in life.. but.. life still goes on..

Dear Daddy.. pray that You'll continue to watch over me.. Bless me in every areas of my life & take care of ALL things in my life.. Gimme d strength to be able to work & study at the same time.. Bless all my love ones.. All these I pray in Jesus' name.. Amen~

Daily Thots

why are there some people who can try 1 time and die so easily, while some people can try all means but still never succeed and die??

life is so tough.. so many decisions to make.. so many consequences to face.. so many unhappiness.. so many sorrows.. so many past to remember..

are you happy with your life?? am i happy with my life?? beats me too.. who can answer my question??

so tired.. very tired.. damn tired.. emotionally tired.. physically tired..

Daily Thots

sometimes i just wonder what did i do wrong?? must i do everything you like or felt is correct?? or am i supposed to live a life that is considered my own or yours??

i appreciate all your kind thoughts.. all your concern.. but.. don't do that to me when i do something that is against how you felt it should be..

a penny for my thoughts??

God bless~

Daily Thots

life is getting tough.. alot of changes here and there.. alot of new happenings in my life.. alot of decisions i've to make.. alot of consequences i've to face.. alot of burdens on my shoulder..

whatever it may be.. i'll never want to be a burden to anybody nor be an obstacle in anybody's life or relationship..

God bless all around me..