Daily Thots

Wow! Guess what again. This morning while I was on my way to work, I met him on the road. Saw this Silverline cab, which of course is very normal to see on the road. But this particular cab just makes me want to look at the driver inside. When I looked in, I saw him. He did not see me, because when I passed by him I turned my head away. Haiz... Don’t know if he can feel my presence near him or not? Just when I thought of him yesterday, then today morning happen to see him. Is this all fated?

Fate always makes a fool out of us. People that we don’t wish to see nor wish to hear about their news, they’ll eventually appear right in front of us or the news will travel to our ears. No matter how hard we try to escape away from reality, it’ll never succeed. The only thing is to face reality, so that our lives will be much easier.

Do I miss him? I don’t know. Maybe its not because I missed him. Maybe its because I can’t let go of the time I had spent with him and the memories that we had shared together. But since I chose this path, I got to face it. I’m definitely living a happy life at the moment, but I also don’t wish to forget the memories I had with him. If I choose to forget all of it, doesn’t it mean that I’ve wasted my 10 over years spent with him. Life is never a regret. Now is just a transition period in my life. Life has many stages, he is just one of the person who plays an important part in one of the stages in my life.

My greatest gift from him? Andrea and Adrienne, that’s the best he had ever given me in my life and I’ll definitely cherish and love them with my life.

Thots In The Ofc

I thought I’m already over and done with all those feelings. Suddenly, all the hatred and hurt came back all together. Lucky thing is that this time round, the negativity only stayed for awhile. I guess pretty soon, I’ll be over and done with all those sad emotions.

Guess what. Things I’ve loved and enjoyed since young were all not being carried out together with my kids and him. Now, it’s all being carried out together with the kids. The only thing is that the lady in the picture is not me, it’s “her”.

I loved flying kites since I was a kid. I always enjoyed watching my brothers fly their kites so high up in the sky. Or if not, it’ll be them trying to cut off people’s kites with their so-called ‘string with glass’. As I grew older, I went flying kites with my friends, and perhaps only once with the man I loved so deeply. Then never again did he try to bring me go fly kites again. It’s either he’s really busy or we’ll just stay at home to watch television, because he don’t really like the sun. Now, things are so much different. He goes flying kites with the kids and together with “her”. At this point of time, all I can think of is that I’m really not a capable wife. Not capable of making him do with me the things I loved and enjoyed. I can’t make him take leave for me to bring me and his family for a few nights stay at the chalet nor can I persuade him to go ‘Wild Wild Wet’ with me and the kids. Sometimes I really wonder. Is it that the flame between us had long died off? The years that we’ve both spent together for so long, is it just because of the commitments we both shared?

I loved rollerblading. If one day I should hear him go rollerblading with her, I think my heart would break and really cry out loud. Because there was never once I can get him to go with me, even when I made the effort to buy another pair of rollerblades so that he can wear one pair to go rollerblading with me. I see families at East Coast Park who does exercises together, how much I envy them do you know? I thought eventually there could be a day when I can go rollerblading with him and the kids, that would be such great fun man. But that is never ever going to happen. Never.

My heart is aching now and my tears are about to flow out. But I won’t cry. No, I won’t cry for him again.

What is eternal love? My love for him has died, which I do hope so. I want to hate him, but it’s all so tiring. The more hatred you have for the person, the more you can’t forget the person.

Someone once told me that he is living a better life and happier life without me. Guess it’s really his luck or happiness that we aren’t together anymore. Was he really so unhappy or so poor thing when he was with me?

What is most important to me now? My kids, my career, my friends, my health and my happiness. What else matters? Nah, I can’t think of anything else at the moment.

I can’t work now. My mind is not working. My heart is not working as well. Shit man.

Daily Thots

In life, it’s always so difficult to please everyone around you. When there’s an argument between two persons, it’s always either your fault or the other party’s fault. There’s no such thing as it’s always the same person’s fault. If that's the case, then there must be really something very wrong with this person. Remedy: Either you try to change the person and talk nicely to the person or you just forget about being friends with this person. Don’t expect the person to always come apologising to you. Eventually, things will turn ugly and the relationship will turn sour. Even very good friends can also become “Hi - Bye” friends overnight if arguments like that are not resolved in the proper way.

How should friends treat each other? Everyone is a human being living on earth. Treat your friends as they are as human like you. Never treat them like a piece of shit because they are not shit. Cherish others the way you want others to cherish you.

What’s life? Everyone will ask themselves at times. But who will really know what's the correct answer? No one will know the correct answer because in fact, there is no right or wrong answers. Everyone have their own perceptions in life and their own beliefs. But as long as your conscience is clear, everything you do in your life is meaningful and beautiful in their own ways.

The path you walk in life is always full of twists and turns. Just be decisive and choose the right direction you want to go and never regret the choice you made. Never live your life with regrets. Even if you had made a wrong choice, learn from your mistake and make the remedies fast.

Life is a box of chocolates? Life is a bed of roses? Life is a ride on the rollercoaster?

You decide what is best for you. Live a life of your own and not live a life as planned by others. Everyone has only a chance to live their own life. Live it the way you want it to be.

Just remember this in your heart. Do unto others the way you want others to do unto you. Don't do unto others the way you don't want others to do unto you.

Daily Tots

i juz love my new notebook.. Packard Bell (dunno wad blah blah blah specs)..

life's been kinda "down" for me recently.. seen d doc twice liao (since last mth).. den on my 2nd trip.. doc asked me alot of qns.. he suspects i might be under mild depression rather than stress.. i din wana ans so many qns of his cos i'm nt very familiar wif him thou.. rather kip my secrets within my own shell (kekeke)..den he gave me the symptoms of depression (which sm hit me rite on d spot).. den gave me advice on hw he can help me if its wrk related.. haiz.. no nid la.. den i asked for sm relaxant to help me slp @ nite (i'm havin slp disorder again).. den he told me he dun hab slpin pills.. i told him 'No.. i was on tis relaxant med for smtime alrdy'.. den i describe d med to him & he brought out d med show me.. i told him 'Yah.. tis is the one'.. he told me he cant prescribe tt gimme cos tt med take more wil get addictive & iz more prescribed for ppl wif depression.. dammit.. hab depression hab depression lor.. aiyah.. wadever la.. den he told me best is i dun bottom up my feelins.. say it out.. if its wrk related.. tell boss.. if its relationship wise.. settle it fast.. remedy is dun lose interest in the things i enjoyed doing.. worst senerio is.. i'm starting to lose interest in rollerblading/clubbin/gg to d gym.. haiz.. life is tough.. real tough man.. but i tot of tellin d doc.. u say do tis & tt so ez.. but for us is nt so ez lor.. say faster settle den can faster settle meh?? siao..

din brin d kids bck tis wkend.. wana sort out my tots & relax abit cos i brought my ofc wrk hme.. nid to rush finish d things over d wkend oso.. haiz.. wrk is always so unfinished..

ytd on leave.. but ofc ppl even HR & other centre colleagues oso find me.. ask me do tis & tt.. dammit.. i cant leave my wrk man.. stressed..

went to Lim Chu Kang wif Vicky ytd.. she was thr to "stabilise" her goddess body.. i was thr to learn hw to be her "sidekick".. hmmm.. whole thing drag until comin to 1am.. damn tired & hungry man.. reached hme abt 2plus den ate cup noodles.. chatted wif Annie until abt 4am.. hahahaha.. cant stand tt woman.. once she starts tokin.. a conversation wif her wont end so early.. haiz.. no choice wor.. cos no one to tok to her @ hme except me liao..

ok! today's gonna be a beta day den tmr.. miting Shenny & Phyllis tmr @ Bugis for dinner.. iz gossip time again.. hahahaha..

Daily Tots

Yoo Hoo~

I'm back again~ Ready for action!!!

Got my M1 Vodafone modem on 18th Jan 07. I'm ready to start my blogging again. Till we meet again my dear readers. (kekekeke)

Take Care~