I thought I’m already over and done with all those feelings. Suddenly, all the hatred and hurt came back all together. Lucky thing is that this time round, the negativity only stayed for awhile. I guess pretty soon, I’ll be over and done with all those sad emotions.
Guess what. Things I’ve loved and enjoyed since young were all not being carried out together with my kids and him. Now, it’s all being carried out together with the kids. The only thing is that the lady in the picture is not me, it’s “her”.
I loved flying kites since I was a kid. I always enjoyed watching my brothers fly their kites so high up in the sky. Or if not, it’ll be them trying to cut off people’s kites with their so-called ‘string with glass’. As I grew older, I went flying kites with my friends, and perhaps only once with the man I loved so deeply. Then never again did he try to bring me go fly kites again. It’s either he’s really busy or we’ll just stay at home to watch television, because he don’t really like the sun. Now, things are so much different. He goes flying kites with the kids and together with “her”. At this point of time, all I can think of is that I’m really not a capable wife. Not capable of making him do with me the things I loved and enjoyed. I can’t make him take leave for me to bring me and his family for a few nights stay at the chalet nor can I persuade him to go ‘Wild Wild Wet’ with me and the kids. Sometimes I really wonder. Is it that the flame between us had long died off? The years that we’ve both spent together for so long, is it just because of the commitments we both shared?
I loved rollerblading. If one day I should hear him go rollerblading with her, I think my heart would break and really cry out loud. Because there was never once I can get him to go with me, even when I made the effort to buy another pair of rollerblades so that he can wear one pair to go rollerblading with me. I see families at East Coast Park who does exercises together, how much I envy them do you know? I thought eventually there could be a day when I can go rollerblading with him and the kids, that would be such great fun man. But that is never ever going to happen. Never.
My heart is aching now and my tears are about to flow out. But I won’t cry. No, I won’t cry for him again.
What is eternal love? My love for him has died, which I do hope so. I want to hate him, but it’s all so tiring. The more hatred you have for the person, the more you can’t forget the person.
Someone once told me that he is living a better life and happier life without me. Guess it’s really his luck or happiness that we aren’t together anymore. Was he really so unhappy or so poor thing when he was with me?
What is most important to me now? My kids, my career, my friends, my health and my happiness. What else matters? Nah, I can’t think of anything else at the moment.
I can’t work now. My mind is not working. My heart is not working as well. Shit man.
Guess what. Things I’ve loved and enjoyed since young were all not being carried out together with my kids and him. Now, it’s all being carried out together with the kids. The only thing is that the lady in the picture is not me, it’s “her”.
I loved flying kites since I was a kid. I always enjoyed watching my brothers fly their kites so high up in the sky. Or if not, it’ll be them trying to cut off people’s kites with their so-called ‘string with glass’. As I grew older, I went flying kites with my friends, and perhaps only once with the man I loved so deeply. Then never again did he try to bring me go fly kites again. It’s either he’s really busy or we’ll just stay at home to watch television, because he don’t really like the sun. Now, things are so much different. He goes flying kites with the kids and together with “her”. At this point of time, all I can think of is that I’m really not a capable wife. Not capable of making him do with me the things I loved and enjoyed. I can’t make him take leave for me to bring me and his family for a few nights stay at the chalet nor can I persuade him to go ‘Wild Wild Wet’ with me and the kids. Sometimes I really wonder. Is it that the flame between us had long died off? The years that we’ve both spent together for so long, is it just because of the commitments we both shared?
I loved rollerblading. If one day I should hear him go rollerblading with her, I think my heart would break and really cry out loud. Because there was never once I can get him to go with me, even when I made the effort to buy another pair of rollerblades so that he can wear one pair to go rollerblading with me. I see families at East Coast Park who does exercises together, how much I envy them do you know? I thought eventually there could be a day when I can go rollerblading with him and the kids, that would be such great fun man. But that is never ever going to happen. Never.
My heart is aching now and my tears are about to flow out. But I won’t cry. No, I won’t cry for him again.
What is eternal love? My love for him has died, which I do hope so. I want to hate him, but it’s all so tiring. The more hatred you have for the person, the more you can’t forget the person.
Someone once told me that he is living a better life and happier life without me. Guess it’s really his luck or happiness that we aren’t together anymore. Was he really so unhappy or so poor thing when he was with me?
What is most important to me now? My kids, my career, my friends, my health and my happiness. What else matters? Nah, I can’t think of anything else at the moment.
I can’t work now. My mind is not working. My heart is not working as well. Shit man.
No comments:
Post a Comment