what happened??

ytd wasn't such a pleasant nite but all thanks to Daddy that i survived..

supposingly aft church svc i had to rush to NLB to meet my sch mates to discuss on our project.. time arranged was 4.30pm.. aft svc ended at abt 4.30pm.. instead of rushin to NLB i went dinner wif my church mates as it had been awhile since i last chatted wif them.. they're always so kind to me so i really missed hanging out wif them.. they even purposely drove fm Suntec to Bugis so that we can hab dinner together and i could go off to NLB fm there.. how nice of them rite?? halfway thru d trip thr my HP kept ringin.. msgs keep comin in.. all fm my sch mates askin my whereabouts.. cut d story short.. i reached NLB at abt 6.30pm.. 1 of d gals keep "attackin" me and gave me a super black face.. she said alot of unpleasant things but i chose to keep quiet instead of arguin back.. in d end at abt 7pm.. conculsion given by them was i am to finish typin d entire project and email to them by Tues for them to assess.. and presentation was to be done by me also.. dammit.. i argued abit but was useless.. so i agreed to do it.. sicko me..

in between.. due to d fact i need to get my prev study materials bck fm my ex's place.. ended up kena shouted by him on d phone thrice.. i dun u'stan y ppl hab to treat me lidat.. while i was drivin to Woodlands.. i was so angry so "lost" that i was driving pretty fast and even had d thots of just rammin my car towards d centre divider.. devil attack.. Daddy knew wad was happenin to me.. Daddy shut my thots out.. fm Mandai to Woodlands my mind was a blank.. no thots nuttin.. it was lik a split second i realised i was at Woodlands alrdy.. when i saw my kids.. peace came into my heart..

haiz.. worst still.. quarrelled wif ZQ twice as well.. sick leh.. y so many things ytd??

i'm carryin too many things on my shoulder.. its so heavy.. i feel so tired.. can i let go of everything?? can i??

i noe Daddy will never ever let go of me.. Daddy loves me.. i love Daddy too..

Daily Thots

wad is happening to me?? why am i being so insensitive now?? why did i spent so much time on 1 person yet neglected another impt person in my life?? i dun mean that gal is not worth my time.. but this gal that i've neglected is so much more impt to me.. i felt so guilty and almost cried when i heard abt her feelin that we're not as close as b4.. i nvr wanted our friendship to turn out this way.. nvr will i wan to..

i dunno wad to say.. sayin sorry is not enuff.. pray that time will wash away all the unhappiness and misunderstandings and bring forth a beta and stronger friendship between us..

ytd English Skills results i got 28 upon 30.. i felt so sad and disappointed that i couldn't score full marks.. thkq to all those who said that i am good and that you're proud of me for scorin such marks.. i felt beta now.. ready to chiong for my test on Fri also..

haiz.. time is nvr enuff for me.. i've to juggle between work/sch/family/frenz.. time is not enuff lehz.. magic magic.. where are my magic powers??!! i wan more time more time..

juz reached hme aft wrk.. v tired.. v shagged out.. shaggy old doggie.. kekeke.. gotta spend time revision again.. tmr Quantitative Skills test.. pray for Favour!!

Daddy.. i leave it all in your good hands.. healing comes just being a child of God.. Amen~

tiredness falls in

u nvr noticed d coldness in the tone when u called?? hw insensitive can u be?? u nvr realised u've done smtin wrong to make me treat u this way??

hw much more can i say?? i'm so tired of everything.. so tired.. so tired..

can u pls wake up and u'stan my feelings?? u need me to spell out your faults??

so very tired

so wad if thr's Skype?? it doesn't make any difference at all if d other party is not concentrating on the chat wif u.. i rather stop d conversation and nt chat.. it doesn't cure d misses.. it increases d anger.. angry of being so far away.. long distance r/s is so difficult to handle.. i doubt i can handle it well..

nw i tink bck.. y do i wana stay hme and wait for a call when i could be out thr enjoyin myself?? and in d end.. get myself so angry over a small little thing.. i've doubts over my own decisions nw..

startin a new career and studies at d same time isn't easy at all.. i wana focus on my job but i've no time for my studies.. i wana focus on my studies yet i cant do much on my work.. doin both at d same time left me wif v little time readin God's words and also no time for my kids.. is these all wrong decisions made by me?? wad should i do?? its nt abt my time mgmt skills.. i alrdy cut away d gatherings and outings wif frenz yet i cant do much on anywhere else..

i'm tired.. v tired.. v tired.. v tired.. v tired.. v tired.. v tired.. v tired.. v tired.. v tired.. v tired.. v tired.. v tired.. v tired.. so damn tired.. v tired.. v tired.. v tired.. v tired.. v tired.. v tired.. v tired.. v tired.. v tired.. v tired.. v tired.. v tired.. v tired.. extremely tired.. v tired.. v tired.. v tired.. v tired.. v tired.. v tired.. v tired.. so so so so tired.. v tired.. super super tired.. v tired.. extremely extremely tired.. v tired.. v tired.. v tired.. v tired.. v tired.. v tired.. v tired.. v tired.. v tired.. v tired.. v tired.. so v tired.. v tired.. v tired.. v tired.. v tired.. v tired.. v tired.. v tired.. v tired.. v tired.. so tired..

aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh.. i'm breakin dw again.. dammit..

Highly Favoured..Greatly Loved..Deeply Blessed..

no matter how hard life is.. my Heavenly Father is still blessing me with abundance love.. i've a wonderful sister and brother-in-law.. they really loved me alot and really dote on me alot.. i wont take their love for granted..

Jie and Jie Fu.. sorry if i made both of you worried when i cried.. i'm just too overloaded.. too stressed out alrdy.. thkq for loving me so much.. i love the both of you alot too..

i wont fail Daddy, both of you, TB, people who love me, and myself.. i'll give it my best in my work and studies..

God bless all..

Daily Thots

you're such a faker.. you pretend everything's ok.. but behind me.. you're a backstabber.. whatever u wana say or wana do.. it's your choice.. my passion towards my work will not be affected wif your actions.. you wana do it this way.. go ahead.. now i u'stan why you said that you dun hab much close frenz cos they all misinterpret your words.. i can tell you.. it's got nothing to do with them not understanding you.. it's you.. you alrdy offended me on too many occasions but i din wana tell u straight at your face.. last time i wont.. in future i also wont.. cos i tink your attitude sucks.. sucks badly.. and i'm gonna let you live it this way cos i dun care.. you dun deserved my respect for you cos aft treating you so nice.. you turned ard and bit me when things went wrong.. things that went wrong due to your carelessness and forgetfulness becomes my fault.. i seriously felt that i dun deserved to be treated like that by you.. all the best to you for whatever choice you had made today.. all i can do is pray that the company will not be affected by your carelessness and forgetfulness..

Dear Daddy.. pls take away my anger.. bless me with a positive attitude in my work.. do not let me be affected by such a backstabber.. let me continue to enjoy doing the job i've always loved and found fulfillment in.. pray that Daddy you'll bless me, the people ard me, and the place where i am in.. Amen!

Irritated

can u stop chngin ur mind!!! set up starts tmr.. wad is wrong wif u??!! how r we supposed to work efficiently in this matter when the changes should hab been pointed out in the beginning.. its nt minor changes u know??

Oh Daddy.. pls gimme the strength to overcome this.. pls stop all these irritating issues..

.....

feel so lost.. cant concentrate at work.. cant do anitink rite.. so many things on my mind nw.. very dis-orientated and dis-organised nw.. wad kinda english words m i using nw?? i dun even u'stan at all..

feel like giving up.. started new job and studies at the same time.. now i cant cope.. cant cope at all.. i m so tired.. so tired.. so tired..

i need time out.. need to run away.. need to stay away.. need to hide away.. need to go away..