Suddenly I’ve a comment for my post
It all feels so unusual
Not that I want to fight back here
Just that I want to make things simpler
Whichever or whatever way you want to think or feel
I can’t stop your thoughts from running wild
Sad to say
It’s the truth
Without Kailin's existence around Roy
Cedric might never have appeared in my life
Simple as abc
Thursday, June 21, 2007
20/06/07 @ 630pm
Today is the most unhappiest day that I’ve gone through this week.
Incident 1
10am went Mango sale with Edna & Peiling. I chose about 8pcs to try-on but one of the malay staff said I can only try-out maximum 5pcs. Therefore, the remaining 3pcs she’ll put on reserved for me. When I came out from the fitting room with the 4pcs that I didn’t want, and wanted to try-out the 3pcs that I had reserved, another staff (Filipino) told me that I have to re-queue. I was a bit “shocked” when I was asked to re-queue as there wasn’t anyone in the queue at all. I asked the staff (Filipino), “Are you sure you want me to re-queue when there’s no one in the queue?” She said yes. Ok! Fine! I walked in to the fitting room, collected my stuff and pass the piece that I wanted to one of the staff (malay) and told her to help me reserve that piece as I want to try-on more pieces. So I went to re-queue and said “Ok. Now I’m in the queue again, can I have the reserved pieces?” Here comes another interesting part. They couldn’t find the pieces that I had reserved. Then they started “taiji” saying who put what back or who didn’t mention the clothes left on the table are reserved pieces. The one who actually took my reserved pieces just stood there and kept quiet with her head down. I was so damn pissed off with them and I just told them I don’t even want the piece I had tried and stormed off.
Incident 2
I was doing some filing work when I knocked my head against the sharp corner of a table. Ouch! So damn painful.
Incident 3
Yesterday rushed out more than 160 over circular letters to our tenants. Some were sent to their outlet here while 100 over were sent out by normal mail this morning.
Today 5plus when I was running through my emails while my bosses were not in the office, noticed there was a revised copy of the circular and I was supposed to use the later one. Shit! I informed my boss and she said to retract the letters. But how to? So I called our in-house despatch and they said they already sent out the letters to the post office today at 3pm. Oh no! suddenly today they were so efficient.
Haiz..
What is wrong with me? What is wrong with me? What is wrong with me?
I am not slacking on my work, but how could I have made such a blunder? How could I have missed out that email sent to me by my boss?
This reflects so badly on me as it such thing had never happened to me before. Now that it has happened after I tendered my resignation and while I am serving my 1-month notice to the company. Oh shit! This is bad. I feel very bad and lost.
Anymore worst thing coming along?
Incident 1
10am went Mango sale with Edna & Peiling. I chose about 8pcs to try-on but one of the malay staff said I can only try-out maximum 5pcs. Therefore, the remaining 3pcs she’ll put on reserved for me. When I came out from the fitting room with the 4pcs that I didn’t want, and wanted to try-out the 3pcs that I had reserved, another staff (Filipino) told me that I have to re-queue. I was a bit “shocked” when I was asked to re-queue as there wasn’t anyone in the queue at all. I asked the staff (Filipino), “Are you sure you want me to re-queue when there’s no one in the queue?” She said yes. Ok! Fine! I walked in to the fitting room, collected my stuff and pass the piece that I wanted to one of the staff (malay) and told her to help me reserve that piece as I want to try-on more pieces. So I went to re-queue and said “Ok. Now I’m in the queue again, can I have the reserved pieces?” Here comes another interesting part. They couldn’t find the pieces that I had reserved. Then they started “taiji” saying who put what back or who didn’t mention the clothes left on the table are reserved pieces. The one who actually took my reserved pieces just stood there and kept quiet with her head down. I was so damn pissed off with them and I just told them I don’t even want the piece I had tried and stormed off.
Incident 2
I was doing some filing work when I knocked my head against the sharp corner of a table. Ouch! So damn painful.
Incident 3
Yesterday rushed out more than 160 over circular letters to our tenants. Some were sent to their outlet here while 100 over were sent out by normal mail this morning.
Today 5plus when I was running through my emails while my bosses were not in the office, noticed there was a revised copy of the circular and I was supposed to use the later one. Shit! I informed my boss and she said to retract the letters. But how to? So I called our in-house despatch and they said they already sent out the letters to the post office today at 3pm. Oh no! suddenly today they were so efficient.
Haiz..
What is wrong with me? What is wrong with me? What is wrong with me?
I am not slacking on my work, but how could I have made such a blunder? How could I have missed out that email sent to me by my boss?
This reflects so badly on me as it such thing had never happened to me before. Now that it has happened after I tendered my resignation and while I am serving my 1-month notice to the company. Oh shit! This is bad. I feel very bad and lost.
Anymore worst thing coming along?
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
What's Wrong?
What is wrong with me? Have I not got over him or have I not got over my past with him?
Wendy, Roy’s sister, is getting married in Jan ’08, and I’m being invited. The thing is, I don’t know if I should go or not.
2 weeks ago I got to know it from Roy’s mum that Wendy will be getting married in Jan ’08. She asked if I know about it and I told her I didn’t know about it. She said perhaps Wendy’s too busy and haven’t started informing anybody yet. I don’t know we came to which part when we were talking about where I’ll be seated then his mum said, “You’re no longer our family so you definitely can’t sit on our table.” Ok! Great! What a way to put it out to me. Those words really pierced through my heart and hurt me. Then when I asked if “it” (that piece of shit who has been clinging onto Roy even though I was still married to Roy at that time) is going, she said most probably. Then when I asked where is “it” going to be seated, she kept quiet. Ok! I know the answer already.
Last week, Wendy called me to inform me about her wedding. According to Wendy, her mum says in order to avoid clashing or something like that, to put me at a table behind the pillar. Wendy told her that there’s no pillar in the restaurant that she chose. Shit lor! You might as well don’t invite me, right? Want to invite me yet want to hide me behind the pillar?
Main reason is because “it” is going and they’re worried that me and “it” might clash heads-on. Come on lor, then hide her behind the pillar so that I cannot see her. Why hide me? Ridiculous!
Interesting part, Wendy’s mum did tell me cos now I am not part of their family so therefore they cannot place me on the VIP table with them. Then can someone please tell me who the hell that “it” is to sit on the VIP table? Soon-to-be wife of Roy’s?
I asked Wendy if “it” is only a friend to Roy, then why should she be seated at the VIP table? Unless she is someone to Roy, then of course can put her at that table, right? No words were said to explain the relationship between Roy and “it”. Wendy told me she don’t know what’s the relationship between the “it” and Roy as till today Roy haven’t tell them anything.
I know if its another woman who appears beside Roy, I’ll be able to take it. But if it’s that “it”, I doubt I can. I thought I’ve already got over her existence, but I don’t think so. I hate her to the core.
Haiz…
What’s the conclusion? To go or not to go?
Think my conclusion is, kill that bitch before the wedding dinner!
Wendy, Roy’s sister, is getting married in Jan ’08, and I’m being invited. The thing is, I don’t know if I should go or not.
2 weeks ago I got to know it from Roy’s mum that Wendy will be getting married in Jan ’08. She asked if I know about it and I told her I didn’t know about it. She said perhaps Wendy’s too busy and haven’t started informing anybody yet. I don’t know we came to which part when we were talking about where I’ll be seated then his mum said, “You’re no longer our family so you definitely can’t sit on our table.” Ok! Great! What a way to put it out to me. Those words really pierced through my heart and hurt me. Then when I asked if “it” (that piece of shit who has been clinging onto Roy even though I was still married to Roy at that time) is going, she said most probably. Then when I asked where is “it” going to be seated, she kept quiet. Ok! I know the answer already.
Last week, Wendy called me to inform me about her wedding. According to Wendy, her mum says in order to avoid clashing or something like that, to put me at a table behind the pillar. Wendy told her that there’s no pillar in the restaurant that she chose. Shit lor! You might as well don’t invite me, right? Want to invite me yet want to hide me behind the pillar?
Main reason is because “it” is going and they’re worried that me and “it” might clash heads-on. Come on lor, then hide her behind the pillar so that I cannot see her. Why hide me? Ridiculous!
Interesting part, Wendy’s mum did tell me cos now I am not part of their family so therefore they cannot place me on the VIP table with them. Then can someone please tell me who the hell that “it” is to sit on the VIP table? Soon-to-be wife of Roy’s?
I asked Wendy if “it” is only a friend to Roy, then why should she be seated at the VIP table? Unless she is someone to Roy, then of course can put her at that table, right? No words were said to explain the relationship between Roy and “it”. Wendy told me she don’t know what’s the relationship between the “it” and Roy as till today Roy haven’t tell them anything.
I know if its another woman who appears beside Roy, I’ll be able to take it. But if it’s that “it”, I doubt I can. I thought I’ve already got over her existence, but I don’t think so. I hate her to the core.
Haiz…
What’s the conclusion? To go or not to go?
Think my conclusion is, kill that bitch before the wedding dinner!
Monday, June 18, 2007
Sad
I hate the feeling of people having false assumptions on me. They assume this, they assume that. They only look on the surface of things when they never even bother to look deeper into the matter and ponder over it why certain things happen this way.
I felt very sad and hurt when I got to know that even the girlfriend I trusted so much, also misunderstood me.
I couldn’t control my tears last night when I thought about my life again. Thou I’m not the most pathetic person in the world, but neither am I the most luckiest person in the world.
I begin to think about my life. Since young, I’ve never felt loved by my parents. It was always my neighbour cum grandma who looked after me and loved me. It was my sister who gave me the love I wanted from my family. Till the very day I found the man in my life, he took over the role of providing the love I needed. Yet, happy times never last. Eventually, things started to change. Thou many chances were given in between, there came a time when I decided to let go of all.
Now I thought I felt happier with friends around me, but that becomes a question mark again. People whom I trusted, starts to have false assumptions on me. I hated it.
Being happy or being sad is just another form of decision-making.
What’s my decision? I chose to be sad.
I felt very sad and hurt when I got to know that even the girlfriend I trusted so much, also misunderstood me.
I couldn’t control my tears last night when I thought about my life again. Thou I’m not the most pathetic person in the world, but neither am I the most luckiest person in the world.
I begin to think about my life. Since young, I’ve never felt loved by my parents. It was always my neighbour cum grandma who looked after me and loved me. It was my sister who gave me the love I wanted from my family. Till the very day I found the man in my life, he took over the role of providing the love I needed. Yet, happy times never last. Eventually, things started to change. Thou many chances were given in between, there came a time when I decided to let go of all.
Now I thought I felt happier with friends around me, but that becomes a question mark again. People whom I trusted, starts to have false assumptions on me. I hated it.
Being happy or being sad is just another form of decision-making.
What’s my decision? I chose to be sad.
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Tired
Why ask me to give assurances when I can’t even give myself any form of assurances?
To me, I’ve always wanted a very dear friend to be with me. There’s nothing much I want to see in my own future. I’m happy with my current life now. I don’t want to fall into another failed relationship anymore. It’s just too hard too difficult to pick myself back again.
Last night I came to a realisation that what I thought I’ve already let go may not be what it seems to be. I’ve been talking so much about him recently. Last night when I saw Celeste wore the wedding gown, tears were about to fill up in my eyes. I suddenly remembered that I was once been promised that he’ll let me wear the gown and that he’ll let me wear it before I turn 30. But now all that was said has become memories. I’ll never get to wear the gown with him. The person who’ll be wearing with him will not be me, it’ll be another “her”. Everything has turned into history and a pack of lies.
Too many things have been happening to me recently till I suddenly just felt like giving it all up. Stress level from work/friends/family/financial.
I can’t fall asleep thou I’m feeling very tired. I feel sick and tired.
Oh please. I need a break. Can someone just take me away from this place?
To me, I’ve always wanted a very dear friend to be with me. There’s nothing much I want to see in my own future. I’m happy with my current life now. I don’t want to fall into another failed relationship anymore. It’s just too hard too difficult to pick myself back again.
Last night I came to a realisation that what I thought I’ve already let go may not be what it seems to be. I’ve been talking so much about him recently. Last night when I saw Celeste wore the wedding gown, tears were about to fill up in my eyes. I suddenly remembered that I was once been promised that he’ll let me wear the gown and that he’ll let me wear it before I turn 30. But now all that was said has become memories. I’ll never get to wear the gown with him. The person who’ll be wearing with him will not be me, it’ll be another “her”. Everything has turned into history and a pack of lies.
Too many things have been happening to me recently till I suddenly just felt like giving it all up. Stress level from work/friends/family/financial.
I can’t fall asleep thou I’m feeling very tired. I feel sick and tired.
Oh please. I need a break. Can someone just take me away from this place?
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